Feeding my Spirit

I remembered why I came to LA on Friday night when I, in my own impromptu fashion, joined a jazz ensemble to sing a song at “Opus” down on Wilshire in Hollywood.  The gentleman who was with me (gentleman…did I really just refer to him as THAT? I mean he has his moments…) may have called it liquid courage…but anyone who knows me and my unabashed ballsiness when it comes to singing knows it wasn’t that at all.  I was just moved to sing a song.  If anything my alcohol consumption could have caused me to forget a lyric or two…but alas, it did not.  It did just what singing does for me…it fed my spirit….it made me feel alive…not that I haven’t been feeling alive lately, although my energy has been put more in one direction than in others.  Do I feel guilty about that?  Not at all, on the contrary, where my energy has been put has been therapeutic for me, enlightening even.  I’ve learned a little more about myself…and someone else in the process.  I never, however, stop singing (whoa – I “never say never” how can I rephrase that…) I just sometimes put it down for a minute…so I can live my life.  Afterall, if I stop living…I have nothing to sing about anymore.  I have no emotions to draw from, nothing to write about, nothing left to share, and hence, nothing to sing about.  But singing also allows me to share myself…it allows me to communicate on an entirely different level because it releases my spirit…MY true essence.  I’m a bard, a Celtic poet, a storyteller, and I communicate through song.

Hmmm – maybe, subconsciously, I was trying to communicate…to myself? to someone else?  Will have to quietly reflect on that a little more…but the dolphins have been showing up in my dreams again…so I think I’m communicating pretty well. 

To see a dolphin in your dream, symbolizes spiritual guidance, your intellect, mental attributes and emotional trust. Utilize your mind to its capacity and you will move upward in life. Alternatively, it suggests that a line of communication has been established between the conscious and unconscious aspects of yourself. Dolphins represent your willingness and ability to explore and navigate through your emotions. To dream that you are riding a dolphin, represents your optimism and social altruism.

I had lunch with a friend today who said “you sing – I didn’t know that?” And, he wasn’t even the first person who had asked me that this week.  And I’m thinking…what the hell am I doing…how does EVERYONE I know NOT know this about me.  Maybe my friends aren’t paying attention, or maybe I ain’t singing enough!! 

I left Opus Friday night with an invitation to return anytime from the musicians.  Which left me thinking that I’d accomplished what I usually do when I sing…I never let ’em see me coming.  I slide in under the radar and end up with a “where the fuck did you come from?” response.   With a little devilish smile on my face…um, but that coulda been the alcohol…I left there feeling reminded that singing…that’s what I do…that’s what I should be doing…that’s what I will always be doing….that’s what ultimately feeds my spirit!!


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