I woke up in the car…not my car, just “a” car and not in the backseat mind you, but the front seat…across the street from my house. As I would do any other morning, I immediately took my pup for a walk. He got a tag-a-long stuck to his bum and was none too pleased that I had to pluck the brambles out. I went inside to hang up his leash when there was a knock at the door. Immediately, someone tried to push the door in … I tried to shove it shut and lock it, but it was too late … she burst in the doorway. Holding the door open with one arm, she smiled and said “hello”. It was Oprah. Still holding the door open with one hand, she extended her other to shake hands with me. She then released her hold on the door and stood there holding my hand in both of hers. I, caught like a deer in headlights, glanced backwards and said to my boyfriend “holding her hand is like magic”. He said “let her hand go” … I said “I’m not restraining her, she’s restraining me”. She then hugged me and let me go. At which point it dawned on me that I hadn’t even had a shower yet and what was Oprah doing here. (It should be noted that while obviously I know who Oprah is, (who on the planet doesn’t?), I have never seen a single episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show … Ha, in fact, I had to come back and edit this because I initally spelled her last name WHinfrey). In any event, family started to arrive … apparently, I was the only one who wasn’t aware of Oprah’s pending morning arrival … on that note, I have no idea whose family members were arriving. There were a slew of them filtering into the house, and I had no idea who any of them were, but accepted them all as “my” extended family. One of them whispered to me that “Oprah works at Warner Bros. Interactive Television” … even in my stupor, I wondered if that existed. But then I remembered again that I needed to shower and get to work (to Warner Bros. … which does exist).
I shouted to the now full room of “family” – “why am I not tweeting this?!” … also somehow remembering, that I don’t often tweet … but that I should probably update my Facebook status to let that record show that Oprah was in my living room prepping for some program she was about to film … evidently in my living room … I was trying to update it from my phone, but my update kept turning into a Rebus puzzle that I couldn’t decipher…I also made a mental note to call my actor friend, Michael, because he would undoubtedly be interested to know that Oprah was in my living room.
I ran upstairs, while yelling “don’t worry about Baxter (the pup) he’s mad at me cuz I had to take a tag-a-long out of his bum”. When I got upstairs, I stopped into the spare room where a woman was hovering over a small girl who was lying in bed, while another unidentifiable gender-neutral child was fumbling with something in its hand. The girl was ill and said “I’m out of bone marrow” and then proceeded to ask me why I didn’t make it to her recital. I apologized to her explaining that I wasn’t aware of it or I surely would have been there, then excused myself because I’d already started the water and still needed to shower for work.
…that’s about the time I heard “baby, it’s after 8:00 … you need to get up”